SAFETY FIRST

The Arizona Small Town Survival Guide to Christian Infidelity


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The Arizona Small Town Survival Guide to Christian Infidelity

Safety First: Basic Rules to Protect Christian Men

Small-town infidelity is a serious matter. Arizona’s small towns abundantly produce Godly Christian men needing to satisfy sexual urges and plenty of sinful housewives to satisfy those men. Although this appears to be a match made in Heaven, Christian men face many risks. To navigate the treacherous waters of small-town infidelity, Christian men should follow these life-saving, practical rules.

Know the Legal Terrain

The first rule of small-town infidelity is to know the legal terrain. One of the most important aspects of fucking married women is not getting killed, and in Arizona, a stand your ground state, shooting a threatening person is permissible. Fucking a man’s wife in his home threatens a man because it’s his wife, his bed, his house, his family, his marriage, and yes, his life you are intruding. Now, the law doesn’t permit shooting a man caught fucking a wife, but the husband knows his word weighed against the lying, cheating adulterer’s holds no consequence except the adulterer’s tombstone.

Only Fuck Married Women

The second rule is to only fuck married women who stand to lose everything by getting divorced. Wives with kids, a nice house, and a comfy lifestyle are not trying to fall in love and inject life with divorce and legal poison. These women just became distracted from the happy life God blessed them through limited access to sinful birth control and gender-liberating Christian values. These are the best women for fucking since their diversion into sluttery removes the risk of them needing help or an escape from unhappiness and thereby reduces the risk to the Christian man.

Never Fall in Love with a Married Woman

The third most important rule, I cannot stress enough, is never fall in love with a married woman. Keep in mind, women don’t enjoy fucking the same as men, and to pretend they have equality, married women often act out sexually like teenage boys. This misbehaving often occurs, especially in small towns, where women momentarily believe themselves constrained by church and conservatism’s mandates. These mandates free girls from their whoring by limiting premarital fucking, but sometimes, wives think they are trapped rather than blessed because they were teen moms. Boys will be boys, and when these wives mistakenly believe they are sowing their oats instead of managing a family, the young Christian man can pounce on this God-given opportunity. Not only does the Christian man take care of his urges, but the wives learn not to be selfish and appreciate matrimony for freeing them of whoring. We call these ladies “a good time.” Just don’t fall in love.

Young Christian men face a great deal of risk that challenges proper infidelity. Christian men have needs requiring fulfillment, whether single or married, and these rules exist to protect them from unregulated, unchristian infidelity.

Next time, we’ll discuss the safest places to have premarital sex in Arizona’s God-fearing, small Christian towns.

Jesus Fish

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