🎵And Away go troubles, with your brain!🎵
Tired of hearing all those protestors screaming about police brutality?
Sick of being forced to listen to confrontational lesbians screaming about their rights and the burden of patriarchy?
What a headache listening to dykes!
Exhausted by homos having a pride parade on your hometown’s main street?
The oppressive thoughts of homos are just too much to bear! If only there was something you could take to alleviate the pain of nonChristianity?
Look no further for a cure.
Christian Clueless provides you with twenty-four hours of bliss that drowns out those anti-Christian protestors and heathens making you feel bad.
Christian Clueless understands the agony Christians endure when forced to think about subjects that counter their perfect Christian worldview, especially when presented by angry protestors and critics.
The suffering of unChristian thoughts is unbearable!
Christian Clueless provides fast-acting relief by filling your mind with thoughts of Jesus, the bible, and all good Christian things that block out all those unwanted nonChristian elements. Unwanted thoughts are evacuated so as not to build up in your soul and mind.
Take two tablets of Christian Clueless, and within minutes, you will be evacuating all those unChristian ideas!
Christian clueless evacuates:
- Mean atheist thoughts about hating Jesus
- Murdering abortion arguments about “bodily autonomy”
- Homosexuals’ arguments meant to infect your mind with family-destroying values
- Any thought of Muslims
- Transexual, intersexual, homosexual, bisexual, and any other sexuality other than man and woman as God dictated!
- Equal rights in any form other than religion.
Christian Clueless understands just how exhausting listening to vicious critics, atheists, queers, and all other nonChristians can be, so we get those negative thoughts out of you quickly! Take Christian Clueless and never find yourself worrying about your rights, equality, or any other stressing thoughts again. Soon you will be praising the Lord just as happy as the day of your baptism and thinking only meaningful Christian thoughts!
🎵Christian Clueless is quick Jesus aid
For real problems that hurt your head
The wonderful Christian Clueless remedy
Twists and turns and makes worry-free 🎵
🎵Buy Christian Clueless, that’s the name
And away go troubles, with your brain!🎵
Christian Clueless has been known to cause violent flatulence, suicidal thoughts, disturbing visions of hell, uncontrolled racist rants, homophobia, school shootings, gun hoarding, passive aggressiveness, teen pregnancy, uncontrolled attendance of MAGA and Klan rallies, cranal to anal loopback syndrome, complete obliviousness to real social issues preferring to argue the authenticity of people claiming to be Christians, and in rare instances death by total ignorance when taken in large doses.