MOVIE REVIEW

Abortinator: Rise of the Christians

Abortinator: Rise of the Christians

A Review of the Latest Christian Science Fiction Epic

A movie that finally elevates Christian genre above what critics have referred to as significantly derivative and pedestrian. What a marvelous story filled with action, drama, and love of Jesus. Christian moviegoers asked for a savior, and God gave us the second greatest story ever told! 

 Abortinator: Rise of the Christians
Winner of the Academy Award for best new Christian sci-fi.

After a second storming of the Capital, President Donald Trump must wage war against the secret, dark government filled with communists, pedophiles, and baby-murdering atheists who, again, attempt to steal the 2024 election and keep the Godly Donald from resuming his station as President. Realizing the widespread evil of the hopeless, foolish non-Christian population, the mighty Trump turns to the only person he can trust, himself, and builds TrumpNet. By pressing his engrams onto a quantum computer chip, President Trump ensures his lifelong Presidency and the newly formed Republic of the United States of Jesus. When the cheating, lesbian, liberal, fascist, homosexual, feminazis continue attempts to overthrow his God-given lifetime presidential term in office, he plugs TrumpNet into the national defense computer grid, activating the chip and giving full authority to the automated defense system. Jesus sees the bravery of his holy brother Donald and blesses TrumpNet, making the machine sentient.

A miracle!

TrumpNet becomes sentient with Jesus’ blessing.
TrumpNet becomes sentient with Jesus’ blessing.

Trump emerges from the White House and leads the holy cybernetic army in Christ’s name across the Godless country, clearing out the atheist, child-molesting armies that oppose democracy and Jesus.

The Godly Donald leads the cybernetic Christian forces on Judgement Day.
The Godly Donald leads the cybernetic Christian forces on Judgement Day.

TrumpNet seeing no other option to stop the terrorism of the evil liberal whores who refuse to take Jesus in their hearts, wanting only to murder their babies, begins nuking US cities — the urban hellscapes ruled by Satan’s minions!

The violent, extremist uprising to steal the election burns in the nuclear fire!
The violent, extremist uprising to steal the election burns in the nuclear fire!

Victory comes at a heavy cost, with many Christians dying in the battle for liberty and filling President Trump with sorrow. Turning to God, President Trump begs the Lord’s mercy for the brave, dead Christians and even the non-Christians because all lives matter.

Marjorie Taylor Green, Amy Coney Barrett, President Trump, and Ted Cruz put on brave faces after the nuclear holocaust.
Marjorie Taylor Green, Amy Coney Barrett, President Trump, and Ted Cruz put on brave faces after the nuclear holocaust.

The Lord hears His second son’s plea weighted with the guilt for the decimation of the good Christians and wills future TrumpNet to send a savior across time to abort the heathen, non-Christian voter fraudsters who created the bloodshed by stealing the 2020 election.

The Abortion Service System 1000 (Abortinator) and President Trump come face to face.
The Abortion Service System 1000 (Abortinator) and President Trump come face to face.

The Abortinator goes to work aborting all the violent dregs of humanity that pose a threat to Christians everywhere. He aborts the terrorists, the welfare leeches bleeding the Christians financially, the homosexuals, and the vilest of all — the baby killers!

The Abortinator annihilates the enemies who will try to steal the election from President Trump.
The Abortinator annihilates the enemies who will try to steal the election from President Trump.

Having aborted the non-Christians, Trump takes his rightful place in Washington as Supreme Ruler of America after once again making the United States great again.

Brilliant! 

Victory goes to the man of God!
Victory goes to the man of God!

Pastor Christian T. Roll’s directorial debut, which earned him an Academy Award for best Christian Science Fiction, is a classic to be remembered for all time. If you have not seen this masterpiece of cinematography, you can catch a private viewing of Abortinator: The Director’s Cut, showing at the Church of the Redeemed Whore. 

Meet Pastor Christian T. Roll at opening night!

Order your tickets now from the Church of the Redeemed Whore for $500. Note: One percent of all proceeds go to support the Trump January 6th Defense Fund and are not tax-deductible since the Satanic IRS has still not approved the Church’s nonprofit status.

Pastor Christian T. Roll Copyright 2022

The Epic Short Stories - Omnibus I.
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