The Sermons of Pastor Christian T. Roll for the year of our Lord 2022. Bringing You The Truth of Jesus Christ.
Table of Contents
About Pastor Christian T. Roll & The Church of The Redeemed Whore
Pastor Christian T. Roll is a living example of Christianity in action. Only the power of Jesus could help this man who once indulged in all manner of debauchery. Born into a family of heathens, Christian T. Roll vied against the Christianity that saved him from becoming one of the bazillions of daily abortions committed by murdering atheists. He rebelled against his God, partaking in drugs, booze, premarital sex, cursing, and other unChristian activities too dark to even discuss.
On the path to hell, Pastor Christian T. Roll felt the agony of sin's slow death diseasing his body and mind. In a moment of complete crisis, as the bottom raced upwards, Pastor Christian T. Roll called out to Jesus.
At the moment of hopelessness, Jesus appeared and gave Pastor Cristian T. Roll his mission to build a mega church to spread the Word of Christ and God's love.
From that day forward, Pastor Christian T. Roll, armed with only his faith, a Bible, and God's strength, he founded a church that grew into millions of weekly parishioners born again in the Word of God.
Credentials Given By the Lord!
Pastor. ThD. Church of the Redeemed Whore. Using Christ’s Word to Stop evilutionists and abortionists, Pastor Christian T. Roll is the voice of opposition to the leftist, socialist, atheist, homosexual, agenda!
“That’s right! Maybe there would be less sinners if you SOBs went to church and prayed more. God’s grace saves even the likes of you!"
Welcome to the Church of the Redeemed Whore, sinners!
Pastor Christian T. Roll is the voice of reason in a world of heathens.
Pastor Christian T. Roll here, and welcome to the Church of the Redeemed Whore. I’ll be writing on this illogical, lying, atheist publication to bring you the truth and word of Jesus Christ in opposition to that fudger Vincent V. Triola.
Christian Pollution, my ass!
He should call this news rag, Unsuitable for Toilet Paper, but I wouldn’t expect anything less from a heathen, lying, baby-murdering atheist!
You can see why I’m here now. The unbiased truth of Jesus Christ must be heard above the nonsense on this antichristian, anticonservative, anti-Jesus-loving filth they call a publication. I will bring you the unpolluted and only truth you need: the bible and the Word of God.
If that’s not enough, well, just climb right on the bus with the rest of the sinners and baby murderers and roll right into the fire of hell!
Biden’s Trillion-Dollar Infrastructure Plan to Destroy Christians & America
You can’t fool a Christian!
Good morning and God bless everyone! Another fine Sunday at the Church of the Redeemed Whore. The day would be even better if I didn’t have to discuss another threat against Christians and America. Today’s danger to Christians comes straight from the Socialist Agenda that now runs the USA: President Joe Biden and his Trillion Dollar Infrastructure Plan.
As we Christians know, meddlesome big government is the root of all evil and why we stand against social welfare programs. Getting rid of welfare is a good way to teach people to work hard and not be lazy. Now, those left-wing fudgers in Washington will tell you welfare invests in society and raises people out of poverty. Using that excuse, President Biden promotes his Build Back Framework, which supposedly will build new roads, repair bridges, create good union paying jobs, grow the economy, and add an average of “1.5 million jobs per year for the next 10 years.”
What a load of crap! You can’t fool a Christian, Biden!
Nothing could be further from the truth! The only thing Americans need is more Jesus and a work ethic. If people read the Bible and understood Jesus, they wouldn’t need trillions of hardworking Christian tax dollars to fund their jobs. Whose fault is it that the nation’s roadways are in poor condition?
The Liberal Agenda to stop Christian Churchgoers!
The facts speak for themselves, and sadly, the liberal creeps plan to cripple Christianity and America with another $21 billion to clean up Superfund, brownfield sites, reclamation of abandoned mine land, and capping orphaned oil and gas wells. Supposedly, this massive amount of money will “benefit communities of color since 26% of Black Americans and 29% of Hispanic Americans live within three miles of a Superfund site.
What a load of horse manure!
Now, I’m not a man given to conspiracy, but I have a feeling there’s more to President Biden than meets the eye. Who does he really work for? Not Christians, that’s for sure. I believe Biden works for the communist atheist agenda, and the liberal creeps are just his henchmen. It is the only thing that makes sense! What else could explain his plan to bankrupt America?
No, Biden clearly cannot be trusted, having enacted a plan to steal a trillion dollars from hardworking Christians under the guise of saving the environment. Phooey! Do you really believe God would allow humans to destroy his planet? Of course not. The atheist environmentalist conspiracy spreads the lie that global warming caused by pollution endangers the environment, and minorities are the most vulnerable since their economic disadvantage forces them to live near environmental pollution. Yes, good old-fashioned, Christian-American business must be the cause.
Complete nonsense. All lives matter!
Here to give you the truth is former President Donald Trump, live from his mountain of power in New York.
Hello, Christians. As you can see, we are celebrating what will be my triumphant return to power in 2024. Why are we so sure I will win? Because I stand for Christianity and America, and America is business, and Christianity is business! Business is business, and I am business. Do not worry, Christians, for I will do away with the false President’s infrastructure plan and restore business with my Build America’s Dollar In Diverse Economic Activities plan, which increases fossil fuel consumption, defunds the EPA, and says, “Screw you, world. America needs energy!”
Yes, an audacious plan wrought from having spent many, many years solving the Riddle of Pollution. You know of it! Don’t you, Christian? Would you like to know the answer? I owe you this much.
It is not money that makes smog; it is the smog that makes money! The more chemical waste, dirty water, depleted ozone, and extinct animals, the richer I become. The richer I become, the more jobs trickle down. Breathe deep the filthy air and revel in the promise of new jobs, Christians!
Hallelujah! Thank you, and God bless you, soon-to-be President Trump!
Is it any wonder why the Godly Donald will retake the Presidency? No question whatsoever. Clearly, the atheist, communist homosexuals intending to stop America from making money will fail because they underestimated the Christian endurance to smog.
As for those liberal creeps and President Jew Biden, they also underestimated the Christian dedication and tenacity to attend church.
Yeehaw! Go, Christians, go!
Pro-life’s War to Save Babies & Women’s Religious Liberty
Because all lives matter!
What a beautiful Sunday morning! No better day than to discuss the meaning of Pro-life. You hear the term tossed around quite a bit but do you Christians truly understand the Pro-life stance? Well, today you will hear the truth about Pro-life straight from the mouths of Christian women in the Party of Life.
It all began in 1973, when the Supreme Court, possessed by Satan, stole Christian women’s religious liberty by telling them it was okay to have abortions. The High Court of Evil said their decision to allow women to murder their babies protected a woman’s privacy.
Have you ever heard anything as stupid as that!
Of course not because pregnant women don’t have privacy! For sure, they don’t have the privacy to make decisions about their pregnancy. It’s very simple; just look at this pregnant woman.
Clearly, the woman is pregnant by virtue of her stomach protruding, meaning she has no privacy. If God wanted her to have privacy, her stomach would be flat to hide her pregnancy. Since this is not the case, God obviously desired Christian men to keep their eyes on the feeble-minded women who might believe something so stupid as privacy allows them to murder their babies.
Sadly, the Christian woman’s religious liberty to not have abortions has been stripped away by the atheist feminazies and filthy nonChristians. Luckily for us, after The High Court of Evil made their decision, God-fearing Christians came forth to fight for their right to have babies. Let’s hear from some of these women who fight the good fight, starting with Congresswoman Lauren Boebert from Colorado.
Lie No 1: abortion is good for women. That some CNN fake news right there. Wrong. They need love. They need support. They need safety and healing. They needed a Glock 19 when it happened.
Praise the Lord!
Could the Will of Christ be any clearer? No, and as you can see, these defenders of religious liberty know what God wants. What? Still not convinced? Well, let’s hear from our next speaker, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.
You should all be ashamed! Killing a baby up until birth is a lack of civility. It’s called murder. Try being a Christian and supporting life!
You tell them heathens! Holy fudge! It’s as though Jesus spoke directly through Representative Greene and told us to stop abortion and defend the faith. Well, if you didn’t hear the Word through Marjorie Taylor Greene, you’ll hear it now from Senator Wendy Rogers. Tell us, Senator Rogers, what is best in life for women?
Crush the liberal, homosexual, atheist feminazies!
And to hear the cries of the women forced to be incubators!
Praise the Lord!
Thank you, Jesus! The message is clear now, isn’t it Christians? We have a God-given mission to reinstate the religious liberty of Christians everywhere by reversing Roe vs. Wade and an even greater responsibility to protect the life of unborn babies
Get your guns, Christians! The war for life and religious liberty is underway!
Communicator Of Christian Knowledge MasterClass
Spreading Christ’s Word
Of course, Christians hold the eternal truth of salvation, for the Bible has given us the Word of God and his son Jesus Christ. Armed with that truth, we are charged with spreading the Word to all nonbelievers. The Word of God and Christ’s love should be enough to persuade anyone, but sadly you find yourself unable to convince friends and relatives of scripture and the Christian worldview’s value.
Hey, you heathen fudgers! I’m talking about Jesus here!
So frustrating! Don’t worry, Christian, the Church of the Redeemed Whore now hosts the Communicator Of Christian Knowledge MasterClass. The upcoming COCK MasterClass provides both women and men the opportunity to improve communication skills so you will never struggle with the Word of Christ again. I know you’re eager to get started, so let’s see what the COCK MasterClass holds for you.
What will I learn in the COCK MasterClass?
Taking the COCK MasterClass certifies Christian men to spread Christian knowledge through in-person interventions known as Passively Evangelizing Neophytes In Society. Using PENIS, you gently fill strangers with copious amounts of Jesus-talk that makes them hunger more from the Cock Master.
I was a horrible, cheating, lying atheist man convinced there was no room for Jesus in me until I met a COCK Master who worked me with his PENIS techniques.
Me too! As a whoring, atheist, feminazi woman, I didn’t believe the Word of God could penetrate me until I met the COCK Master, who pumped me with joy using his PENIS skills. Amazing!
As Christians, we’re much happier and finally started a family with three kids who would have ended up as abortions because of our heathen beliefs and our children’s questionable paternity. Thanks, Cock Master!
Yes, you could be that COCK Master, filling people with love, joy, and gratitude — but wait, that’s not all!
Men also learn to become Directed Internet Christian Knowledge Saviors. As DICKS, you will digitally spread the Word of Christ to everyone using covert profiles and other means. DICKS aggressively pound social media, right from the comfort of home, using the latest technologies to spew Christ’s love from their firm Christian philosophy. Be assured you will make faith stick by forcing yourself on digital citizens. Sometimes people need the tough love that only DICKS can provide!
You might think you’re a black woman also with everything you’ll learn in the COCK MasterClass.
What’s that? You Christian ladies feel like you’re left out. Just because God gave men the most responsibility doesn’t mean He forgot you. No, mam! God has plans for you fine Christian women to become Christian Universal Niceness Telegraphers. That’s right! As a warm and inviting CUNT, you’ll pull those heathens deep inside your loving Christian values, even when faced with hostile nonbelievers.
Excuse me! Does that wall belong to you? Should you really be writing Black Lives Matters on that wall? You know that’s illegal, don’t you? Do I need to call the police?
She made that look easy, but don’t fret. Once you learn to be a CUNT you’ll rub people the right way too. Whether strangers or your special friends from church, CUNTS make everyone happy believers!
Where do I sign up?
Right here, folks, at the Church of the Redeemed Whore with me, Pastor Christian T. Roll. Every Thursday night, join those PENIS-wielding DICKS and eager-to-friend CUNTS for a fun-filled evening of learning taught by a veteran COCK Master.
Don’t be heathens! Take the COCK MasterClass and learn to be the DICKS and CUNTs Jesus desires!
STOP THE WHORING!
Christian Sex Education
Pastor Christian T. Roll Explains the Inferiority of Women
Atheists love discussing how Abstinence-Only Until Marriage Sex Education (AOUM) doesn’t work, but I am here to tell you that Abstinence until Marriage works. Those lying atheist fudgers just love to cite their so-called research and spout off nonsense like,
“adolescents who intend to practice abstinence fail to actually do so, and they often fail to use condoms or other forms of contraception when they do have intercourse” and that AOUM is “not effective at preventing pregnancy or STIs, nor do they have a positive impact on age at first sexual intercourse, number of sexual partners or other behavior,” the United States has spent more than $2 billion on AOUM programs in the last 20 years.
The problem isn’t AOUM; it’s the barbaric atheists who want people to believe abstinence doesn’t work, so kids will have more sex to increase abortions. Why would they want more abortions?
Because they’re baby killers!
Atheists love killing babies. Sometimes they sit around their houses laughing and joking about the baby massacre,
“How many babies did you kill today, dear?”
“At least a dozen, but those babies died fast, so it wasn’t as enjoyable as usual.”
“That’s too bad, dear. Oh, I heard the Henderson’s killed hundreds of babies last week.”
That’s right! Nonstop baby murdering all because people don’t understand Christian sex education. Well, I’m here to put a stop to the nonsense. If you turn your attention to the large screen to watch my slide show, I’ll provide the Christian Sex Education we teach here at the Church of the Redeemed Whore.
This is a vagina. Notice how God designed the penis for internal placement within the woman, who he created specifically to accommodate the penis.
Now, as you can see, penis plus vagina equals whore. You have to understand that God made women inferior to serve men, and he did this to give men the responsibility of keeping women from becoming whores. Clearly, this is stated in the Bible, Ephesians 5:22–24,
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
That includes your vaginas!
Now, your going to hear those new-age heathen preachers quoting Galatians 3:28 to promote gender equality,
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Sure, before God, the supreme being of the universe, everyone is equally inferior, but that doesn’t mean a woman is equal to a man.
So, now that we have established the inferiority of the woman, clearly, the man is responsible for not allowing the woman to become a whore. Men’s solutions to women’s whoring construct on understanding her inferior anatomy that accommodates many penises. In contrast to the man’s ability to only have sex with one woman at a time, women can enjoy many different penises, sometimes at the same time, without becoming exhausted. For this reason, women’s inferiority keeps them from remaining abstinent. Just look at these girls showing all that skin.
Like they’re asking for penises!
Luckily, Christian scientists were far ahead of the technology curve and created practical devices to stop women from whoring.
That’s right! Chastity belts.
Nothing stops a woman from whoring like a chastity belt. The old ways are the best ways, and clearly, if you want to keep a woman from becoming a slut, this is the method. Chastity belts are practical for many applications, like if a man has to go on vacation. You wouldn’t want to come home to find your wife with the gardener, would you? Of course not. Even more effective are these devices for keeping feeble-minded daughters abstinent while at school or out with friends.
As you can see from my presentation, those lying atheists are wrong. Abstinence-Only Until Marriage Sex Education perfectly works if you know how to keep women in line. Remember to demand Abstinence-Only Until Marriage Sex Education at your next PTA meeting, or you might end up with a teen mom or dad.Pastor Christian T. Roll Copyright 2022