The things we’re most afraid of, offer the deepest, fastest path to full-life adulthood
In America (USA)
where and with whom
we put our
tongues, genitals, lips,
words, breathing/panting
relative to our
reproductive impulses
and biological sex drives
is a critical part
of who we are
and how far we move
into happy and content
acceptance of
ourselves and the world.
Our sexual selves
are not heterosexual
or homosexual
or by-sexual
or any other
unified sexual identity,
just by our wishing
and telling ourselves
this is the case—
We have sexual preferences
and as a course of daily life
we indulge
and resist indulging these
preferences and our sex drive
by responding to controls
and boundaries,
both internal and external,
based in societal and legal rules
of conduct and our own
breadth and narrowness
of self-acceptance of our desires
and desired desires.
So here’s the deal,
much like the idea that
one and only one view
of God is “right,”
and that only one way
of looking at the world and ourselves
is the “right and true way,”
(“Ford Trucks are NUMBER ONE!!!!!”
“The Super Bowl is the most important
cultural and sporting event
in the history of the UNIVERSE!!!!!”)
So, too,
our understanding
of our sexual selves
is, for most of us,
no more clear than our grasp
of how our gallbladder is doing,
its purpose, function,
operational maximization
vs
suboptimal or dysfunctional
performance —
At least with our gallbladders
we don’t walk around acting
like we know what’s going on,
whereas with our sexuality
that’s exactly what we do.
We move through the world
trying to convince ourselves
and anyone else who’ll listen
that we’ve got this whole
hetero/homo/trans/what’ev/thing
hard-wired and clear.
The truth is
you don’t.
I don’t.
I’m not sure,
in fact I’m fairly certain,
that nobody fuckin’ knows.
Of course I may be wrong
but if I were you
I’d get your gallbladder checked-out
sooner rather than later
just in case,
because,
let’s be real,
none of us
know shit about ourselves,
much less about
anyone else.
