Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?


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Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?

Yeah, I’m talkin’ to YOU pagan Mo-Fo’s!

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?

So here’s the deal, if we’re such a Christian nation, so fuckin’ holy, holy, holy, you know like Ted Cruz proclaiming his bravery and sanctimonious horseshit and goodness while taking a knee to Trump (“Hey Ted, since you’re down there anyway . . .”)

If we’re sooooooo blessed and shit, how come porno outsells even Prosperity Gospel (the very BEST brand in terms of pay-off now AND later) and consumes so much more real time than mumbling rote-learned prayers we had pounded into our skulls long before we reached the age of reason?

Now, if you’re one of those glorious rare birds who depend on prayer so much more than you think about sex, sex, sex and if you’re blessed with the gift of faith to such a big whoppin’ degree that you never even think about it any longer. Stop scrolling now because our focus below, meant to show our fellow worshippers in the throes of abject contemplation and religious fervor and shit . . . you know St. John of the Cross, The Cloud of Unknowing, holy holy holy shit to the max . . . no need to go on, because yer good aw’ready.

Kick back, light-up and smoke if you got ’em; Baby Jesus and his Daddio got you covered.

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?

My pal Kore Goddess, in worship.

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?3

Fill in the blank, maybe a pre-prayer pout? 

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?4

A day late & a $ short.

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?5

Da Rapture Girls

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?6

Exhausted from holy contrition.

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?7

“Where we all headed? Where we landing?”

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?8

Fuckin’ marriage “I said I gotta headache”

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?9

NOT thinking about Ted Cruz but about God and stuff.

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?10

Love is best in the dark, ever since Adam and dat bitch.

Sex, Sex, SEX . . . Doesn’t Anybody Think About Prayer Anymore?11

Welcome, have a grape asshole!

Just remember, any time you pray and it isn’t immediately answered it’s b/c God knows you’re a sex-obsessed, sinner, piece of shit and you had an impure thought about that pretty girl in the pew in front of you when she kneeled during prayers, that included the thought, “Hey baby, since you’re down there anyway . . .”

God knows EVERYTHING, just like Santa Claus —

Yer screwed.

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Photos from PixaBay & With Permission.

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