Beating the Dog

The Greater Length of Time After a Bad Relationship has Ended, the Greater the Relief That It’s OVER


Updated on
1 Minute Or Less Read Time
The Greater Length of Time After a Bad Relationship has Ended, the Greater the Relief That It’s OVER

Beating My Dog

My girlfriend and I were fighting
When
More or less
Out of the blue
She said
“If you want to fuck my sister
It’s okay
So long as you wait
Awhile
After we break-up.”
“I don’t want to break-up,” I said,
“and even if we did,
I wouldn’t fuck your sister.”
She didn’t believe me.
So I said, “No, I’ve not stopped not
Beating my dog.”
But she didn’t laugh.
Right then is when
I shoulda known. 

Reassurance

“I love you,” she said
“and I need you to know
How hard it is for me
That John is attracted to me,
And I’ve told him
That you’re my lover
And that I love you
VERY MUCH.
“He just needs a place to be
‘cause he’s only got a few friends
And I’ve told him that
Even though it makes him
Uncomfortable
When he feels that you
Don’t want him around all the time
That I’m not gonna take care of him,
That he’ll just have to talk to you
About it himself.
“And really,
I love you too much to end my
Relationship with John
‘cause that’d be
SOOOOOO
Unhealthy for me to do that
And if you and I can’t be healthier
Than THAT,
We’re never going to make it
Right?
“And so that’s why I phoned John
Earlier tonight
And asked him to come over. So that
We could talk about all of this—
And that’s why we were sitting there
On the couch together
When you happened to show up.
“I feel a lot better,
I mean cleaner and all,” she said,
“I just hope you
Know how much I LOVE you!”
I think I may have nodded
but I know I didn’t punch her
in her fuckin’ mouth.

John

I think that was his name?
This young guy
who was quite handsome
and played guitar,
mostly soulful
sad songs.
I wrote about him before,
years ago,
about how he had a crush
on my girlfriend of that time
and how she
kept encouraging his affections,
enjoying his innocent,
sweet, affectionate and
gentle approaches.
The punch line to that older poem
and this new one
is that “John” later killed himself
a few years after
all this ridiculous drama.
I never knew why
and never knew him very well.
But I can tell him now,
“Listen bro,
I shoulda let you have her,
but I promise you
she wasn’t worth the trouble.”
Come to think of it, though,
he might’a hung it up
even earlier if he’d taken me up
on that offer.

Jesus Trash

Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash

Do Christians bother you? You're not alone.

Sick and tired of Christians?

Get Your Copy
Back to - No To Christianity Sexy Christians Terry Trueman