When We Wish Our Dad’s Dead and Why?

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When We Wish Our Dad’s Dead and Why?

Not every guy wishes this, but some of us did and do and always will.

My old man isn’t here
to defend himself —
Not that I’m sure
he’d want to,
or that he could.
But as an over-sensitive kid
my feelings towards him
were always ambivalent
with a heavy leaning towards
fear and dislike.
In fact, I wrote a short poem
about this before
(see below)*
And I revisit it here because
the issue isn’t settled for me.
I suspect this whole
“Honor they mom and pop” rule,
has always a lot to do with it.

The way my father
spouted grace at big family
meals, his King James language
always grated on me.
So, whata ya mean, god, by “honor” them?
What if they’re dunks or insecure or cruel
fucked-up asshole-bullies?
Isn’t this another of your
top down,
patriarchal bullshit laws
meant to keep us
all in line
bowing and kissing yer feet
and coughing-up
our protection money
every Sunday?

I thought so.
Piss off daddy-o,
make that “daddy-o’s” plural,
piss off
the both of you.

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