Unnatural Disaster

Why I wished my father dead?

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Mommy, Daddy and only son, author's priv. pics


I don't have a very good answer and really, despite the question mark, it's not a question, is it?

It's just that I know it's true and thinking back, feeling back, I realize how many fucked-up aspects of myself came from him.

He never hit me, rarely raised his voice, and looking back I can see that every mocking, nasty, cruel remark he ever made was meant to make me better.

A good Christian, patriarchal papa dumping my mother and never satisfied that he was getting enough sex from any woman silly or desperate enough to sleep with him.

A man willing to ruin his child  in order to save me.

I often prayed to a God I had stopped believing in, that my dad would just fuckin' die.

He finally did but it was about 60 years too late to do me any good.

Why do I confess this now, so many years after his death?

Because it's true and because I can.

Do Christians bother you? You're not alone.

Sick and tired of Christians?

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