Pastor Christian T. Roll's Sermons for the year of our Lord 2022, Bringing you the Pure Word of Jesus Christ, None of That Watered-Down Liberal Crap
Table of Contents
The War Against Christians
Pastor Christian T. Roll Declares War on the Jewish, Chinese, Atheist, Homosexual Agenda
All over the world, the forces of evil threaten Christians! This danger is God’s punishment for not living by the Word of Jesus and allowing the Jewish, Chinese, Atheist, Homosexual Agenda to flourish.
Pray with me, sinners!
We have abandoned you, Lord! We allowed the murderers of Jesus to build synagogues and secretly rule the world. How wrong we have been! Save us from the Zionist-occupied government, Lord!
The war against Christians roots deep in the communist regimes, and China is the worst enemy. Secretly, the Chinese have been using the money from US corporations that offshored jobs for cheap labor to slowly build their anti-Christian, communist empire. We condemned ourselves for low-cost computers and furniture! Now, billions of communist Chinese pray to their evil Buddha, preparing to annihilate Christians!
The atheist scourge rises from the lack of Jesus in government, education, and child-rearing. We have failed you, Lord! Dear, God, protect us from the vicious rampaging atheists!
The enemy is everywhere! In cities across the USA, violent homosexuals form militias, prepared to put an end to Christians. They could attack at any moment!
Everybody start praying! The Lord has challenged us to stop the advancing forces of sinners. God told me to raise eight million dollars to combat the evildoers, or He would take my life.
We must meet this evil and carry out the Lord’s will. Please make donations now, or mine and every God-fearing Christian’s blood is on your hands.
Terms of Giving
You lovingly agree to pay all charges due for your donation at the time of donation, which is immediate. You agree to provide Christian T. Roll (Doing business as The Church of the Redeemed Whore or CRW Inc.) with a valid credit card. By providing your credit card and other associated payment information, you agree to authorize CRW to immediately charge your card for your donation and all accessorial charges so you will not be sent to hell to burn for eternity.
Tax Exemption
Currently, all donations are not tax-exempt because the IRS ruled the Church of the Redeemed Whore does not qualify for nonprofit status, which is nothing more than the Jewish, Atheist, Chinese, Homosexual Agenda trying to stop Pastor Christian T. Roll from defeating them in the great holy war to come.
Accessorial Charges
By donating, you accept responsibility for all charges, which include:
- 25% Jesus prayer fee, covering Pastor Christian T. Roll’s personal prayer, asking Jesus to forgive your abundance of sins
- 25% true believer fee, covering any demonic backlash because you made your donation with sin in your heart
- 25% giving more fee, covering your greed for knowing you should have given more but didn’t because you’re a lying heathen unworthy of God’s Grace
- 25% technology fee, covering any legal costs for “seemingly” unintended use of the donation, such as purchasing a Gulf Stream Six for carrying Church missions across the globe
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Payment Disputes
We must be notified within the first (7) minutes after you receive your credit card statement if you believe any charges are in dispute. A fee will be applied which you agree to pay for arbitration to settle any charge disputes. The supreme ultimate arbitrator, God, will settle any dispute and you also agree to His timetable and location for hearing said dispute.
Tips
Tips are welcome and can be adjusted, with a minimum 25% charge which will be shown to you before charge approval. Tips are additional to any donation amount and like the donation are not tax exempt due to the Jewish conspiracy to defraud Christians that controls the global banking system.
Christian Safe Zones
Protecting Free Speech
Remember the days when you could let your kids play in the yard and not have to worry about a filthy, feminist man-hater trying to “woke” them? I remember those days, and so do the good folks at Christian Safe Zones.
Hey, folks! Pastor Christian T. Roll here with an important message to keep your family safe from the feminist, communist, homosexual, atheist attack on freedom of speech, called, “Cancel culture!”
Christians everywhere face the danger of liberal, atheist, feminist, homosexual communists accusing us of not being “woke,” but they really intend to destroy freedom of speech, America, and Christianity. Luckily, Christian scientists using the latest technologies created a solution.
Christian Safe Zones
Christian Safe Zones are portable free speech protection devices that allow Christians to speak their minds without fear of cancel culture or “woke” people. Each device allows encrypted communication between approved Christians while blocking the prying, non-Christian’s ears.
Don’t think you need a Christian Safe Zone? Think again.
No one is safe! Not even at home.
How horrifying is that, Christians?
Sadly, stories like Judge Michelle Odinet reflect the ever-present danger of cancel culture and the urgent necessity for Christian Safe Zones. Wokeness knows no mercy and endangers good Christian children with daily cancellation. Imagine a friendly after-school soccer game resulting in your son being kicked off a team and disciplined by school authorities — just for some locker room talk!
Christian Safe Zones are more than just portable personal devices and protect the whole family or any group with the company’s aptly named “Small-Town Safe Zones.” These all-weather, durable, expandable Small-Town Safe Zones come in many sizes to accommodate and allow free speech for three to fifty God-fearing Christians.
Go have a great day at the park again, Christian! Your speech is protected.
If you think Christian Safe Zones only protect free speech at home, school, and work, you are wrong. Christian Safe Zones don’t just protect personal free speech; they help enforce it in the public square. All over the US, Christian Warriors use this technology to coordinate the fight against the cancel culture’s tyranny that threatens free speech, even to protect non-Christians because all lives matter!
Amazing!
No more fear of persecution by the “woke” or having your family canceled. Today, you take back your free speech and join the ranks of the Christian Warriors by purchasing your Christian Safe Zone.
I don’t just recommend Christian Safe Zones; I use them!
Disclaimer
The Church of the Redeemed Whore in no way advertises Christian Safe Zones, and though Pastor Christian T. Roll appears to be giving a sermon in the Church of the Redeemed Whore, he is actually recommending this product — NOT the Church. The Church of the Redeemed Whore is not responsible for the safety of Christians using Christian Safe Zones and has no opinion on this product.
Ted Cruz’s Guns for Kids Education Program
A new federal education program sponsored by Ted Cruz.
Texas Senator Ted Cruz spoke to the press recently, and the fake news outlets like Newsweek misquoted him, compelling me to take some time today to explain what the good Senator really meant. God-fearing Christians like Ted Cruz are the backbone of our Constitutional rights, protecting our need to have guns. When Senator Cruz suggested having more security and arming teachers, he was not allowed to finish explaining his goal to make schools safer. Had the Senator been allowed to finish speaking, America would have learned about his new Guns for Kids Education Program. Democrats have long accused Republicans of warmongering and not wanting to spend money on education, but Guns for Kids proves these accusations false. Cruz proposes combining military and education spending in one budget to enhance learning and school safety.
The GOP is prepared to spend billions in government defense contracts to protect our children!
Imagine having your children picked up and delivered to their school on a secure bus. No bad guy is going to stop these kids from getting to school and learning when they’re riding the new M1A1 Abrams School Bus.
School transportation is just the beginning of the good Senator’s plan. Next, your children will be delivered to a secure, nondisclosed, nuclear-hardened facility protected by miles of scorching desert and landmines to keep out the bad guys.
Once children arrive at the fortress of learning at the beginning of the school year, their armed teachers assign them guns along with creationist science-based textbooks. Who says Republicans don’t like spending money on education?
When it comes to educating our children, the GOP spares no expense!
Just look at Suzie studying hard with her .357 magnum derringer at the ready. She even brought some extra ammunition from home for extra safety. That’s a diligent soldier and student!
Guns for Kids adds billions of dollars to school security, creating classroom shelters within the learning fortress. Each classroom is fortified, but if a bad guy enters the school, the class can remain safe with air recyclers, two months of rations, and drinking water. Using Senator Cruz’s brilliant strategy, classrooms have only one entrance hermetically sealed at the start of class. Funding for the secured room also pays for highly-educated teachers trained in the ways of the gun.
Guns for Kids takes into account more than just school security. We spent billions to uphold our Constitutional right to bear arms and stop the bad guys by combining best education practices with military strategy. Children cannot learn on an empty stomach the same way soldiers cannot fight when hungry, and schools now supply free meals for all kids.
If that were not enough, the godly Senator Cruz included in this new program funding for emergency high caliber guns strategically placed within easy reach throughout the education facilities. If a bad guy gets past the outside security, and the gunfire from the sharpshooting teachers and kids doesn’t stop him, then he is a really bad guy deserving of full-auto justice. Children needing more firepower can easily access one of the many Peewee Miniguns, even in the locker rooms.
If all those benefits of the Guns for Kids program were not enough, Senator Cruz took time from his busy schedule to speak to our children to make them aware of the bad guy threat and the new initiative’s solutions.
There you have it folks. Senator Cruz has shown the liberals that our children can be made safe from the bad guys using Republican values.
Original Photos by Patrick Fore, Debra Brewster, Artem Kniaz, Jason Goodman, Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona, Le Minh Phuong, Quino Al, Vidar Nordli-Mathisen, Hasan Almasi, & Daniel Gutko.
Pastor Christian T. Roll Copyright 2022